Day One.

Hello and welcome to my blog! I have been an avid fan of other's blogs...mostly cooking related and I am always so impressed with their witty commentaries and reflections. So I warn you right away...I do not have such skills. I don't know how I'll go a about this, how much I will divulge of myself but I'll take it one day at a time and play it by ear. I've had many things on my mind lately...(who doesn't, huh?). Sometimes it's not easy and I have to give myself constant pep-talks and work at being positive. But I do realize that I am IMMENSLY blessed. Even with all the happenings of my life, both by a consequence of my choices, or simply by the choice of another, I am very grateful for the life and family I have. I’m content and happy where I am in my life. I have children that bless my life and my home, a career where I am lucky to work with an amazing group of people, and friends that I can rely upon to laughed and cry with me.
Heartbreak has not been a stranger at my doorstep. We’re on a first name basis -- he and I. But even so, I still believe in romantic love. I know there is happiness in the world and I know there are happy couples out there. I am friends and related to some good examples. When I see these happy couples, I too get happy and they fill my cup of happiness. I use that metaphor quite a bit…”my cup runneth over”.
What gives me happiness? Obviously, my children. Cooking also gives me happiness. Cooking is my time to get into a relaxing zone. I fully immerse myself in what I am doing, how I am doing it, and for whom I am doing it for. I get immense pleasure in sharing the end results of my labors with those that I love. And if they enjoy what I have prepared…it’s just icing on the cake. Food has always been an expression of love by the women of my family. I remember my grandmother’s cooking and I truly regret not being able to have had my grandmother alive during my adolescent years. I didn’t get a chance to share my discovery of food with her. By the time I began loving cooking, she was already gone. The greatest memory I have of her is on my 14th birthday. My parents were busy with the business and my birthday was not the priority of the day. But my grandmother…she remembered. And by the end of the afternoon, she called us over to her house and surprised me with a cake. She didn’t bake it herself, but it didn’t matter to me one bit. She remembered and made me feel so special and loved. To this day I hold that as one of my fondest memories and one of the times where I felt the most loved. I miss her terribly sometimes. I still talk to her. Now my conversations with her are through prayer. I feel she is my guardian angel and she watches over me. She still is a source of inspiration to me. It’s through the strength she demonstrated throughout her life that I gather up the strength I have had to muster up to get through my own trials and tribulations.
My work is another source of fulfillment. As I said earlier, I work with a great group of people. Oh we have our share of “what the hell are they doing here” kind of people. But the core group I interact with are pretty great. Everyone has a great personality and I learn from all of them. I truly believe that we are all mirrors for one another. We reflect back a good example of what to do or be or we can be an example of what NOT to do or be. I do learn something new every day. And then there are days where I just want to bust someone’s knee caps! (hahahahahah). Hey we all have those kind of days…don’t lie!
I’ve had many happy moments in relationships, and many unhappy moments too. Such is life, right? I had a pretty good plan when I was younger. I figured I’d go to college, get an awesome career, meet the love of my life, get married, have kids, white picket fence and live happily ever after. Then Life said, “Oh really? Hmm, let’s see about that!” So no, I never planned on being a single parent of three. Nor did I ever intend for my having children from separate relationships. Oh hell! If the ghost of “Christmas Future” would have visited me in my much younger and ignorant years and had told me what my life I would be like now, I would have retorted to it with a resounding “Oh Hell NO!” There is a saying that I recently heard that made me laugh and agree with though. Roughly translated it says, “The devil knows not because he is the devil, but because he’s old”. It’s true. Hindsight is 20/20 (now that one I know you’ve got to be familiar with). I used to look down my nose on women with offspring who had different fathers. Well guess what? Don’t do that! You never know the circumstances. That’s my bit of advice.
Well it’s late and although I can go and go at the mouth (or keyboard in this case), I’d better end this first entry now. Thanks for listening blog. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.