Celebration

Today we celebrated my father's 60th birthday. His birthday isn't officially until tomorrow, but I made dinner and baked a cake for him today. Weekdays are so hectic. Financially, things are tough for everyone and my Dad, in his usual concerned way, didn't want us to make a fuss and told my Mom to make sure we didn't do anything for him. As if I ever listened to them! hahahha I consulted my various cookbooks and came across a recipe for Beef Bourguignon in Ina Garten’s Barefoot in Paris cookbook. I’ve been dying to make that and figured this special occasion was more than an excuse. The recipe was easier than I had though and the end result received rave reviews from everyone. My Dad left his plate sparkling clean since he made sure to mop up every last bit of stew off his plate with a piece of bread. I at first was going to pair this with some polenta, but since I haven’t served this to my family yet, I reconsidered it and instead served mashed potatoes. I used my nifty potato ricer tool and the potatoes came out ultra fluffy. Darn it, I just realized that I should have taken a picture of my masterpiece to post here. Well next time.

It was nice to cook this birthday meal for my Dad. He does so much for us. It wasn’t a big deal for me to do this. In fact, it was very nice to be able to use his birthday as a reason to cook up this recipe. I do love to share my love for others through their bellies! My kids loved the chocolate cake more than the dinner. It took lots of prodding, pleading, and threats to get them to eat an acceptable amount of food. But boy did they ever gobble down their piece of cake! Kids will be kids. And now that I’m a parent, even though I wish I could give in more often than I do, I feel it is my duty as their mother to make sure they eat as much savory foods and vegetable to keep them healthy. But I remember vividly when I was their age and it would take me hours to finish my meals. And when I say HOURS I mean HOURS! Just the thought of food in my mouth would make me start heaving. UGH, YUCK! I don’t know why I was this way…I just was. I couldn’t handle any kind of flavors or textures in my mouth. I would hide food anywhere I could. Sandwiches were my biggest nemesis! And even though I begged my mom to put anything but sandwiches in my lunch, she did it anyways. Bread was my second threat. It would soak up every ounce of moisture out of my mouth that it felt like I had been stuffed with cotton. So because of it I would have to drink and drink and drink so much liquid (usually milk or a juice) that I’d end up getting full of liquids and couldn’t eat any solids. So I’d hide food in my mom’s dining table centerpiece. She’d find it later when the stench gave away my secret hiding place. I’d also hide food in my napkin when no one was looking. My mom would sit with me like a hawk. But I would prove to be a a good opponent. I’d sit there and just stare at the food on my plate. Or else I’d leave mouthfuls in my mouth and just hide them in my cheek. My Mom would continually tell me, “Honey, swallow the food. Just swallow it.” And even though I honestly wanted to…I couldn’t. Now mind you, this was all before microwave ovens. (Yes, there was a time these weren’t around). So my parents even resorted to getting me a warming plate. It was rectangular in shape and had three sections. They hoped that keeping my food warm would help me eat it. In the end, even that didn’t help. I don't remember exactly when I outgrew this, but eventually I did lose my aversion to food and instead learned to love the various flavors and textures. Now there is very few things I would not try at least once and even less things I do not like. Well except for those darned runny eggs. Ugh. I just got a visual. Excuse me while I quickly try to focus on something else!

I loathed dinner time. I still blame my Dad’s famous soft boiled eggs he would make them. He made them with much love and concern because we did not dare leave the house without breakfast. So my Dad would make us soft boiled eggs in the morning. However my Dad neglected to actually let them become even slightly soft boiled. They were downright almost RAW! Ugh. I think I’m getting ready to heave again just thinking of them! Yuck! Blah! To this day, if I see any form of runny eggs on my plate, I have to look away. I quickly dart my eyes and have to quickly focus on something else or else I’ll lose it. Runny eggs to me are like kryptonite to Superman.

MUST…CHANGE THE SUBJECT. Now where was I? Oh yes. Dinner was a hit. I was happy to see my Dad enjoy it. I happen to go to Trader Joe’s today and found some red, white, and white zinfandel wine at $1.99 each. It’s not all that, but it’s good. I still hope to make it to Napa and go wine tasting. For goodness sakes, I am within driving distance to Temecula and I haven’t been able to go. The only time I could do that would be on the weekends, and since I put in quite a bit of time at work during the week, I feel awfully guilty leaving the kids behind on a weekend. I found some really good Moscato wines a couple of weeks ago at a little boutique wine bar I came across. I was able to enjoy that because I had my parents with me and two of my kids were asleep in the tandem stroller. I took a 30 minute break and didn’t suffer any post-traumatic guilt syndrome either. The kids were napping and didn’t wake up while I was gone to see I was missing.
I hope to outgrow the “guilties” I put myself through. If I don’t, I may turn around and be an awful martyr with my kids when they get older. And that I do NOT want to do.
Well…at least not until their teen years. Muahahahahah!

Day One.

Hello and welcome to my blog! I have been an avid fan of other's blogs...mostly cooking related and I am always so impressed with their witty commentaries and reflections. So I warn you right away...I do not have such skills. I don't know how I'll go a about this, how much I will divulge of myself but I'll take it one day at a time and play it by ear. I've had many things on my mind lately...(who doesn't, huh?). Sometimes it's not easy and I have to give myself constant pep-talks and work at being positive. But I do realize that I am IMMENSLY blessed. Even with all the happenings of my life, both by a consequence of my choices, or simply by the choice of another, I am very grateful for the life and family I have. I’m content and happy where I am in my life. I have children that bless my life and my home, a career where I am lucky to work with an amazing group of people, and friends that I can rely upon to laughed and cry with me.
Heartbreak has not been a stranger at my doorstep. We’re on a first name basis -- he and I. But even so, I still believe in romantic love. I know there is happiness in the world and I know there are happy couples out there. I am friends and related to some good examples. When I see these happy couples, I too get happy and they fill my cup of happiness. I use that metaphor quite a bit…”my cup runneth over”.
What gives me happiness? Obviously, my children. Cooking also gives me happiness. Cooking is my time to get into a relaxing zone. I fully immerse myself in what I am doing, how I am doing it, and for whom I am doing it for. I get immense pleasure in sharing the end results of my labors with those that I love. And if they enjoy what I have prepared…it’s just icing on the cake. Food has always been an expression of love by the women of my family. I remember my grandmother’s cooking and I truly regret not being able to have had my grandmother alive during my adolescent years. I didn’t get a chance to share my discovery of food with her. By the time I began loving cooking, she was already gone. The greatest memory I have of her is on my 14th birthday. My parents were busy with the business and my birthday was not the priority of the day. But my grandmother…she remembered. And by the end of the afternoon, she called us over to her house and surprised me with a cake. She didn’t bake it herself, but it didn’t matter to me one bit. She remembered and made me feel so special and loved. To this day I hold that as one of my fondest memories and one of the times where I felt the most loved. I miss her terribly sometimes. I still talk to her. Now my conversations with her are through prayer. I feel she is my guardian angel and she watches over me. She still is a source of inspiration to me. It’s through the strength she demonstrated throughout her life that I gather up the strength I have had to muster up to get through my own trials and tribulations.
My work is another source of fulfillment. As I said earlier, I work with a great group of people. Oh we have our share of “what the hell are they doing here” kind of people. But the core group I interact with are pretty great. Everyone has a great personality and I learn from all of them. I truly believe that we are all mirrors for one another. We reflect back a good example of what to do or be or we can be an example of what NOT to do or be. I do learn something new every day. And then there are days where I just want to bust someone’s knee caps! (hahahahahah). Hey we all have those kind of days…don’t lie!
I’ve had many happy moments in relationships, and many unhappy moments too. Such is life, right? I had a pretty good plan when I was younger. I figured I’d go to college, get an awesome career, meet the love of my life, get married, have kids, white picket fence and live happily ever after. Then Life said, “Oh really? Hmm, let’s see about that!” So no, I never planned on being a single parent of three. Nor did I ever intend for my having children from separate relationships. Oh hell! If the ghost of “Christmas Future” would have visited me in my much younger and ignorant years and had told me what my life I would be like now, I would have retorted to it with a resounding “Oh Hell NO!” There is a saying that I recently heard that made me laugh and agree with though. Roughly translated it says, “The devil knows not because he is the devil, but because he’s old”. It’s true. Hindsight is 20/20 (now that one I know you’ve got to be familiar with). I used to look down my nose on women with offspring who had different fathers. Well guess what? Don’t do that! You never know the circumstances. That’s my bit of advice.
Well it’s late and although I can go and go at the mouth (or keyboard in this case), I’d better end this first entry now. Thanks for listening blog. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.